Peridot VS Elmore
by DannyFenton123
Summary: Lapis Lazuli and Peridot find themselves catapulted into Gumball's dimension. They must find a way to get back... once they can get past some misadventures in this weird new world they've found themselves in.
1. The Accident

**Looking for a beta for this story. PM if interested.**

Lapis Lazuli sat back against the roof of the barn silo, looking out at the countryside. Steven had said autumn was coming, and they were correct; the trees that stretched out for miles were painted with beautiful reds, greens and golds. It was almost unrecognizable to the view the ocean Gem had seen when they arrived.

Earth was indeed always changing. It was a pleasant thought for Lapis, who sank back and let their eyes droop, at one with the peaceful atmosphere for once in their existence.

"Hey, Lazuli! Hey Lazuli! Lazuli!"

The Gem's eyes shot open. Through all of this change, one person always seemed to remain constantly irritating: Peridot.

"Lazuli! Hey, hey, Lazuli!"

With a heavy sigh, Lapis decided to see what the green Gem wanted, if only to make them stop shouting. They stood up and gently glided to the floor, where Peridot instantly shoved something in their face.

"Look, Lazuli! Isn't it cool?"

Lapis peered down at the green Gem's latest contraption. "It's… a small warp pad model."

"A model?" Peridot laughed. "No, Lazuli. This isn't a model, this is the real deal! A portable warp pad!"

"Really?" The Gem raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"Well, it is just a prototype at the moment, but it looks promising. I've been trying to replicate Homeworld's technology, but it's been such a long time…"

"Good for you, then." Lapis spread their wings. "Good luck remembering-"

"Wait!" Peridot blushed. "I was… just wondering if you wanted to test it?"

"I am not your guinea pig."

"That's not what I meant! Nyeh, I was trying to say, you know, we could set it to Beach City and go visit Steven, or something else. That's what friends do… right?"

Lapis opened their mouth to deliver a harsh statement, thought better of it, then said something else. "Fine. As long as it works properly."

Peridot set it down on the floor. "Don't worry, Lazuli. So we just stand in it and… yeah, that's it! See?"

"It's a little small." Lapis reluctantly shuffled their feet. They felt Peridot brush right up against their back.

"Yeah. It needed to be portable more than it needed size." They hesitated. "So, now you use it like a normal warp pad; you think of where you want to go, and then you go there! Though, nyeh, you already knew that."

Lapis' eyes narrowed. _I wish I could be anywhere but here_ , they thought. Almost immediately they realized that thought was a mistake; the warp pad began to shake as it lit up. A spark came off the side, and before either of them could hop off they were engulfed in an explosion. The ocean Gem briefly felt themselves flying in the air before they smacked face-first into a tree trunk. They then peeled off and landed on the ground, dazed.

After a second Lapis quickly sat up. "Peridot." They wheeled around and gaped at the smoking explosion. "Peridot!"

"Over here!" Peridot's voice came from just behind the explosion site. Lapis flew over to them and helped them up. "Thanks, Lazuli."

"Are you okay?"

The green Gem shook themselves. "I'm fine. It appears my warp pad was a complete failure, though."

Lapis felt a twinge of guilt. "Don't worry about it. Let's get back to the…" They trailed off as they looked around what appeared to be a forest, in the middle of autumn.

"Hmm," Peridot looked around. "Well, we're somewhere on Earth at least. Lazuli, maybe you should fly up and see if you recognize anything."

The ocean Gem spread their wings and quickly rose far above the trees, looking around for any familiar landmarks. What was immediately apparent was a large city not a long way from where they landed, with a desert bordering the far side and a couple large lakes sitting around.

They quickly realized they had never been here before. With a sigh, they descended back down to Earth.

"What'd you see?" Peridot immediately demanded.

"We're not anywhere near the barn, or anywhere else I know." Lapis extended a finger. "There's a human settlement in that direction."

"Let's go, then!" Peridot dashed off, much to Lapis' annoyance.

"Hey, Peridot! Wait for me!" The ocean Gem spread their wings and glided low to the ground, nimbly avoiding the trees. They started searching for their companion, but were quickly alerted by a loud scream. "Peridot!"

Lapis found the green Gem standing in the bushes by the very outskirts of the city, staring right at it with a horror-stricken expression. "I've done it." They quietly spoke to nobody in particular. "I built the warp pad. This is all my fault. I've done it."

"Done what? Peridot!"

Peridot dramatically sank down to their knees, and wailed, "I turned the entire human population into assorted household objects!"


	2. The Chase

Lapis's jaw actually dropped as a family of three bananas walked across the street in front of them. The ocean Gem had seen a lot of strange, magical things in their life but this definitely topped them all.

They were still taking it better than Peridot. "I turned them into bananas. I swore to protect the humans and I turned them into _bananas_."

"Hey!" One banana with a mustache waved their fist at the Gem. "Haven't you ever seen a banana walk with his family before?"

The smallest banana giggled. "Dad, what's - uh, that famous music guy –'s favourite fruit? The ba-na-na-naaaa!"

Lapis shook themselves. "Peridot, we're attracting attention. We need to go." They crossed their arms as the green Gem sniffed, their eyes welling up with tears.

"I'm the worst Crystal Gem ever."

With a sigh, the ocean Gem spread their wings. "Just hold out until I can find a hiding place." They grabbed Peridot by the shoulders and took off, surprising a passing Tobais and their mother Jackie.

Tobias blinked. "Whoa, what was that?"

"It looked like some sort of giant blue fly." Jackie frowned as they took out their phone. "I'm calling pest control, just in case."

Meanwhile Lapis was gliding over the city, carrying Peridot from under the green Gem's armpits. They looked down at the rows and rows of houses. "Wow, it's really big."

"I turned them all into monsters." Peridot moaned.

"Oh, come on." Lapis rolled their eyes. "You made a small warp pad. How could something like that cause this to happen?"

"If it's not my fault, then what else could have caused it?"

The ocean Gem did not respond.

"Oh, and duck."

"Duck?" Lapis frowned, looking up. "Duck from wha- a duck!" They swerved and narrowly avoided the bird in question, who promptly turned and waved its wing at the duo, yelling, 'Watch it!"

Lapis stuck their tongue out at the duck, before slowing and descending into an alleyway in the middle of the city. They set Peridot down. "Okay, I think this is safer. You can freak out now."

"Why! Why did I build that prototype!" The green Gem picked up a dirty cereal box from off the top of a trashcan. "I'm a traitorous clod, again! It's just as well we're stuck in this cloddy old city; all the other Crystal Gems will never want to see me again! _Why_!"

Lapis leaned against the wall, and watched their companion attempt to rewind the cereal box.

"Nye-ah, this thing is useless!" Peridot drew back their arm. "Where's a tape recorder when you _need_ it!" They chucked it away, and it sailed through the air and nailed a certain blue cat walking by the entrance to the alley.

"Hey!" The cat rubbed their head. "Who threw that? It hurt!"

Next to them, an orange goldfish crossed their arms. "Dude, it was a cereal box. There's no way that could've hurt."

"It hurt my _pride_ , Darwin!"

"I'm sorry!" Peridot called from the shadows. "And I'm sorry for turning you into a monster, too!"

Lapis jumped up from the wall. "Seriously, Peridot?"

"Huh?" The cat looked themselves over. "We don't look like monsters. What are you talking about?"

"Well, you're a cat."

"Peridot…"

The cat frowned. "What are you talking about, mysterious alley voice? Do you know, Darwin?"

"Maybe they're just more of a dog person."

"Well, you're not supposed to be a cat!" Lapis slapped a hand across the green Gem's face before they could say anything else, but the damage was already done.

"No really, what are you talking about?" The cat took a step into the alley. "And who are you, anyway?"

"Yeah!" The fish added. "Show yourselves!"

Lapis silently backed up, bringing Peridot with them.

"Come on, I don't want to go down a dark alley!" The cat complained. "Even I know that's a bad idea."

Lapis still did not speak.

"So this is how you're going to play it? Well, me and Darwin are gonna stay here and not move until you come out!"

"We are? Gumball, I thought we were going to the-"

"This is more important now!"

Lapis looked at the two figures guarding the end of the alley, then down at Peridot. The green Gem made an agreeable sound and shrugged, as if to say, "Why not?" The ocean Gem sighed, then spoke up. "Fine."

They released Peridot and stepped into the light. Gumball gazed up at them, their eyes shiny in amazement. "Wow!" Then their face twisted into a frown. "So you're the cat haters!"

Peridot blinked. "Amazing. These humans seem to have absolutely no idea of their original forms. My prototype must have messed with their memories as well!"

"What the what?"

"Hmm…" Lapis frowned. "No, wait. I don't think your little warp pad tampered with any memories."

"Are you saying…?"

"We're not on Earth. Not Steven's Earth, anyway."

Peridot gasped, the realization flooding through their head. "Ooooohhhh…"

Gumball and Darwin looked at each other, totally baffled. The cat looked back to the Gems with a nervous smile. "Ahem. Ahum, yes. Uh… Ahem. Ahahem-"

"Dude, what are you doing?"

"I dunno what to say! I'm buying time to think, man!" Gumball cleared their throat for one final time. "Yes, uh, my name's Gumball. And that's Darwin. Yes… um, can I ask you two a question?"

Lapis looked down on the tweens. "We don't want your questions."

"Are you guys aliens or something?" Gumball loudly blurted out. "I think you're aliens. Wait, she didn't say yes. Sorry!"

"Just leave."

"But-" Before Gumball could finish, a green van pulled up by the group. A cockroach leaned out and pointed right at them.

"Look, there they are!"

Lapis blinked. "Who are you?"

"Pest control." Darwin's eyes narrowed. They grabbed Lapis' hand and started running.

"What are you doing! What's going on!"

"It's the pest control guy!" Darwin called. "They're like the police, but better at catching people!"

Lapis looked back and saw Gumball dragging Peridot along. Behind them the green van was starting up again, so they decided to take their chances with the cat and the fish.

"In here!" Gumball cut away to the arcade. Darwin skidded to a halt.

"Gumball, the house is this way!"

"Do you really think you're going to outrun a car?"

"Well-! Good point, actually."

Lapis saw the cockroach leaning out of the van, calling for them to stop. "Go, then!"

"Right!" Darwin and Lapis ran into the arcade after Gumball. The pest controller got out of the van and followed them on foot.

"Gumball?" Darwin called. "Gumball!"

"Shhh, Darwin!" Gumball stuck their head out from behind an arcade game.

"Wow, that's a great hiding spot!"

Gumball winced. "It's not a hiding spot. Help." That was when they noticed Peridot trying to pull the arcade game away from the wall, to no available.

"Hey you, fish!" The green Gem growled. "Help me get this thing off the wall!"

Darwin heaved at one of the legs. "It's… not… working… how'd you get stuck in the first place?"

"I don't even remember! And now I'm gonna be stuck here forever!"

"There you are!" The cockroach turned a corner and stood behind Lapis, taking aim. The blue Gem stepped to the side and pulled the arcade game forward and down right on the pest controller. Sparks flew as the machine came off the wall and smashed onto the floor.

Peridot's eyes widened. "Holy smokes."

"What the what!" Gumball ran over to the wreckage. "Dude, you just killed him!"

Lapis crossed their arms defensively. "He was trying to shoot me."

"But you can't just kill people! Don't get me wrong, that looked awesome – have you been working out? – but that's like, a basic rule of life!"

Darwin kneeled next to the cat. "He was so young… you gotta get this off him!"

"Fine." Lapis lifted the arcade game off the ground. Almost immediately the cockroach jumped up, looking perfectly unharmed.

"Hah!" The pest controller reloaded their dart gun. "There's no shoe in the world big enough to crush me!"

Gumball blinked. "Run. Run!"

The four ran out of the arcade, crossing a street and coming into a residential section.

"Look!" Darwin pointed. "Our house is just over here!"

That was when Lapis felt a sharp pain in their side. They cried out and fell on the pavement.

"Oh no!" Gumball and Darwin skidded to a halt. "Alien person!"

Peridot crossed their arms. "Her name is Lazuli."

"Lazuli!"

The cockroach laughed, quickly jogging up to the group. "Another one down! Whew, that was a-"

Lapis then sat up, and pulled the dart out of their side. "What? That didn't do anything."

"Whoah!" The pest controller gasped. "The tranquilliser didn't work! I need to call for backup… my van!" They ran back the way they had come, leaving the four awkwardly standing by the house.

After a second, Gumball spoke up. "Oh-kay. Let's just go inside before anything else happens, shall we?"


	3. The Mom

Gumball cracked open the door and peeked inside their house, their ears pricked for the slightest noise. That is, the slightest noise rather than their father watching the TV. They picked up the sound of a running tap, and then groaned.

"Mom's home."

"'Mom'?" Peridot raised an eyebrow. "Is this like a 'Dad'?

The cat spied a shirtless Richard sprawled out on the couch. "No. Never confuse the two."

"So do we tell Mrs Mom?" Darwin asked. "I'm sure in light of the current situation, she'd be happy for these aliens to stay in our house for a while!"

Lapis rolled their eyes. "My name is Lapis, by the way."

"Tell Mrs Mom?" Gumball laughed. "No, Darwin. We _act casual_."

Peridot blinked. "How do we act casual?"

"Don't worry. Just follow my lead, okay?" Gumball suddenly swung the door wide open, letting it slam against the wall. "Mother, Father, I am home!"

"Hello, Gumball." Nicole's voice came from the kitchen. "Did you bring the-"

Peridot suddenly stepped forwards, attempting to open the door the same way. Being that it was already open, the action had little dramatic effect. "Mother, Father, I am home!"

Gumball slapped their face.

"Well? How did I do?"

"I said act casual!" The blue cat whisper-screamed. "Act casual, not copy me!"

The running water sound suddenly shut off. "Gumball, sweetie? Who was that?"

Gumball gave a hard blink. "My… pet… cat! No, that's really weird. I mean my rabbit, no, my fish!"

"Hey!"

"I didn't mean you, Darwin!"

Nicole stuck their head out of the kitchen. "Gumball, I can smell fear. What's going on!"

Gumball started up the steps. "Run, guys!"

" _Gumball_!

"This way!" Gumball unhooked the attic stairs and motioned the three up them. They saw Nicole coming up the stairs and yelped, quickly jumping into the attic and closing the ladder after themselves.

"Now what?" Darwin fretted. "Mrs. Mom's gonna kill us!"

Gumball brandished the attic hook with an easy smile. "Not if she can't reach us."

"Gumball!" Nicole yelled, causing Gumball to flinch. "You come out of the attic right now, young man!"

"Must… obey… Mom…" The blue cat hugged their paws to their chest. "But must... protect… awesome… aliens…"

"My name is Lapis!" Lapis growled. "Besides, how do you plan to keep us hidden from this Mom?"

"I'll sneak you guys food, in the dead of night!" Gumball spread their arms. "And, uh, books too. And I'm sure there's a bucket around here…"

Peridot frowned. "But we don't eat."

"Also," Darwin motioned to the rattling trapdoor. "How are we supposed to get down!"

"Uhhhhh… really interesting question! I'll think of something later." The cat then bought out a notebook and a camera. "But while we're here, do you guys have any cool powers or something? What's your tragic backstory before you met us?"

Lapis' brow furrowed.

That was when the trapdoor suddenly opened, the ladder sliding down to the ground. Nicole was standing in front with a very stern expression, one claw unsheathed. "Gumball, what is going on!"

"Mom!" Gumball stood directly in front of the group. "Let me introduce you to-"

They were then shoved aside by Lapis, who stood up and spread their wings. "It doesn't matter. We were leaving anyway."

"Wait, we are?" Peridot blinked.

"No, no, no, don't go!" Gumball got up. "We can help!"

Lapis glared down at the cat. "How? You have no idea what you're doing!"

Nicole rubbed their eyes. "I am too confused to be angry right now."

"Uh, you need someone responsible?" Gumball pointed at Nicole. "Mom knows what that word means! She can help with the responsible stuff, we can help with the fun stuff, right Darwin? Darwin, why are you standing by the window?"

"I told you, I don't want your help! Peridot, let's- what are you doing?"

Peridot was standing by the window next to Darwin. "Lazuli, I don't think we're going to leave any time soon."

"What?" Lapis came up to the window, and gasped as they saw rows upon rows of green vans lining the streets, their sides plastered with a rather blurry picture of Lapis and Peridot running away.

Darwin gulped. "It looks like that pest control guy really did bring backup. If they can't tranquilise you, they'll probably just bring you down with the sheer amount of darts."

"Woohoo!" Gumball started, but was met with a glare. "I mean, um, darn! It looks like you can't leave, what a shame."

Lapis clenched their fists, letting their wings dissipate. "Fine. But only until they stop looking for us."

"Cool! How'd you do that?" This question was ignored by the blue Gem.

"Wait," Nicole pointed at a cockroach standing outside their house with a megaphone. "I think they're saying something."

They opened the window, and could hear the pest controller saying, "If you have seen these highly dangerous pets, please call pest control immediately. They were last seen with Gumball and Darwin Watterson."

Lapis suddenly saw Nicole approaching the cockroach and handing them a few green notes. The roach nodded, cleared their throat and said, "If you have seen these highly dangerous pets, please call pest control immediately. That is all. I repeat…"

"That's better." The group turned and saw Nicole back in the attic, snapping their purse closed. "Now, before anything else happens I'd like somebody to please sit down and tell me exactly what's going on."


End file.
